Happy Chocolate Holiday

Happy Easter Everybody! Its that lovely time of year when everybody celebrates the Crucifixion and resurrection of Christ by stuffing themselves with chocolate. Everyone who has been doing this whole Lent thing can now relax and allow themselves whatever it was they have been denying themselves for the last month or so. As a lapsed Christian I take a fairly dim view of the whole Lent thing, it has never been properly explained to me as to why not eating chocolate for a month is a good thing. In fact my earliest recollection of Lent was being handed a creme egg on the last day of term and being told "now you mustn't eat it dear until Sunday" I'm sorry but how barbaric is that? How can a primary school child who rarely has chocolate be expected to carry a wonderful and actually sticky and starting to melt creme egg home from school unsupervised and not eat it? Well of course I was caught with a mouthful of chocolate by my Mum's friend, in fact I was merrily chomping away on the lovely sticky gooey egg when I spied my Mother's friend in her car coming towards me and so tried to hide the evidence in the only place available to me. Yes I stuffed the entire egg into my already full mouth, (I'm sure creme eggs used to be bigger!) It didn't occur to me that my Mum's friend would actually stop her car to talk to me and then discover that I couldn't reply due to the fact that my mouth was otherwise engaged!
Last year after much nagging by a work colleague I attempted to give up chocolate for Lent,(I wanted to give up work but was told that it had to be something you liked) I lasted until the first weekend and then it snowed and we were bored and so we ate chocolate. This year I lasted nearly two weeks. But I have already broken into the Easter egg stash once and have had to replace them. There is a word for my condition. I am an addict. I am addicted to chocolate and its all because of that earlier childhood incident. If I eat chocolate I feel bad and so I try to stop but then I just crave it more.
So I'm not going to do Lent again, I don't believe in the reasons and as it is supposed to commemorate the time Jesus spent in the desert then all I have to say is, He spent 40 days and nights in the desert and Lent lasts 47 days so its all a big con! So from now on in my house Easter will be called the chocolate holiday and we will celebrate at the altar of the god of chocolate Mr Cadbury